(Note; the acronym TAF is my creation which stands for; Think-And-Feel. the intent in using it is to inform the listener that instead of just thinking about something; i have invested both Prana (Ha) and Thought (Tha) into what i am about to say…meaning, i have used Hatha Yoga to come up with what i am saying; i’m not just intellectually purging.)


fatherhood to me, is as much a journey into deep sadness over losing my Blessed, Selfish, Practice Days and Endless Quality Time with my Beloved Partner
as it is the inexplicable and sacred Joy of having such an absolutely, adorable,and utterly precious Live-In Guru.

– steve ilg


after i had a child, i figured i’d know much more about parenting.

only more and more questions arise.

what’s really surprising to me is the absolute denial of how intense it is to consciously raise a child.

let alone more than one.

like trying to witness and retain more than one thought at a time in meditation,
trying to consciously, truly ‘be with’ more than one child at a time is impossible.

from my conversations and observations, not much real parenting has been going on it seems. it’s like when people walk their dog; usually they are not walking their dog much at all; instead they are walking their chattering minds. every now and then a frantic tug on the leash annoys the sleep-walker enough to snap them out of their rajasic mind, “Oh, come ON Fido, jesus!” how many even stop to think, “Oh, thanks for the reMinder, Fido…yeah, maybe i should drop into you more…”

Accept everyone and everything as your Teacher…remember when i first Taught you that way back in my first Audio CD?

when i Practice my Dewa Sadhana i do my feeble best to make it just that;
Dewa – my six month old daughter – becomes my Spiritual Practice.
isn’t this the Way parenting is meant to be?

much as ‘i think i need to’…i don’t multi-task when it’s my turn to be with Dewa. i don’t try to facilitate an email while Dewa is doing her ‘tummy time’ in her playpen. i don’t just strap her into her ‘bouncer’ and put on a “Baby Einstein DVD” and think that i’m doing her neuronal hooking up a favor. i sure as hec don’t drop her off to ‘child care’; that is a Hell Realm for a young child. i am the parent of my child; i am the One who must care for her; especially for these first few years; only the parent(s).

in fact, hard as it is, i don’t do anything other than accepting Dewa as my live-in Guru and do my best to meditate with her in her own Realm. isn’t this the Way parenting is meant to be?

children need to be with one or both of their parents 24/7.

in fact, if we can’t hang with that utterly natural fact of being a Present and Conscious Parent? we should do the world a really, really important Practice; do NOT bring a child into our world. instead, do as i and Joy did for over 40 years; stay single, stay selfish, stay focused on your own inner work.

it is supreme opportunity to be in the Dewa Realm; Her mind is so sattvic…so pure…so Aware. if i continue to be brave enough not to multi-task, to just keep hitting the “Delete Button” on the egoic cascades of thoughts such as,
“Well, you really gotta provide for this family, get back to work…” you know the kind. it’s those kind of rajasic, Outer-Wordly thoughts that are the root cause of all the mental dis-eases that our children inherit from parents; the multi-tasking mind of parents, our inability to hit the “Delete Button” on ego thoughts, our attachment to the illusion that being someplace other than in the m(om)ent with our child is precisely what gives birth to our children’s inability to “just be” which leads to ADD, etc.

the worse sin a parent can bring upon their child is not to “be with” them; i mean, really, really Be-With-Them.

doing so will probably make parents lose lots of money. hec, we might even have to scale down the size of our home and lifestyle options. what? you think our children care about the size of our home or if their kiddie clothes come from Goodwill vs. The Gap? no. all our little Guru’s desire is to meditate with their parent(s).

when we sit in meditation, we have childhood experiences of sounds, sights, tastes, and so on. that is what our children need as much as we.

when we develop skills in meditation, we become more absorbed in the purusha or true reality beyond the sensations. this is where our children hang out and we need it as much as they.

as we progress in meditation fitness, the sensations become weaker and finally disappear…perhaps only for a fraction of a second. an identical condition must prevail during our child care; what i call my, Dewa Sadhana; my Daughter-As-My-Spiritual-Practice.

meditation depends upon the suspension of sense consciousness. this is known as ‘pratyhara’…the 5th limb of yoga.

you don’t hear much of this type of talk from parents.

in fact, most parents ask me, “Wow, so how is parenthood? Isn’t it just the best?”

well, it is a very, very High Practice…not “the best.” it’s just that type of arrogant, dualistic thinking
(instead of TAFing)
that accounts for the insanity of our society here in Kali Yuga.

fatherhood to me, is as much a journey into deep sadness over losing my Blessed, Selfish, Practice Days and Endless Quality Time with my Beloved Partner
as it is the inexplicable and sacred Joy of having such an absolutely, adorable,and utterly precious Live-In Guru.

from tiny pinecones, mighty ponderosa do grow. That’s pretty impressive, especially when you stop to consider what an pinecone looks like, and what a ponderosa tree is. what is easily forgotten in this miracle of transformation is the amount of time that must pass before that little cone becomes a towering tree.

how long will you have to wait till your current efforts bring you a result toward Enlightenment?

i just released a Secret Practice of EMR that only takes a few minutes each morning yet immediately brings a pivotal result of pratyhara and snaps our parenting and Practice skills into Divine Gear…

only a few people ordered it.

from Beneath The Sacred Peak, feeble ilg does not know how much else he can do to help us all Wake Up…as the snow melts, so too does my lifelong gumption to think ilg can truly help…such is the cry of a wolf whose terrain steadily disappears in face of an ever accelerating Human Realm…

May this DL allow you the understanding that Pratyhara is pivotal to make ourselves free from influence. May this DL impart to us a control over our chaotic mind that refuses to think just Breathing Is Enough. May this Dl help us control our senses, our judgments, and our indifference. May this DL invite tolerance, faith, and understanding free from doubt, and intense craving for the Divine.

head bowed,

just one rookie parent trying to “Just Listen” to the Teachings of his daughter

all photos by ilg:
#1; Dewa last week at 6 months young
#2; “Yab-Yum” the two giant ponderosas towering over Two Tree Manor
#3; across the street; the Sacred Peak, sunset.

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