Wholistic Fitness

In Tibetan spiritual literature, there is a saying; “Embrace your ten thousand horrible demons and your ten thousand beautiful demons.”

In other words; embrace and use it all.

On Saturday, i had a whole laundry list of perfectly fine excuses not to wake up in the freezing cold and run a 10k Mountain Race.

Certainly, anyone would understand a new daddy of a month old baby who just spent the last week in the Intensive Care Unit not doing some silly mountain running race.

A mountain running race is, to me however, as priceless and sacred a form of bettering myself than anything else on this amazing plane(t). Running in that silly mountain race is to me a church going, and who among us would think that going to church, especially after a supremely challenging week, is non-sense? Weird how some pass judgment on another’s choice of worship. Why should praying in a pew be Higher than praying among pines? Why should an offering of money to a priest be considered Higher than the offering of sweat into Father Sky?

The very fact that i toed that Start Line yesterday makes this Race Report more meaningful to me than many of my World Championships.

i feel ilg growing in Ways and Layers that extend well, well beyond the paltry piecework of words and forms.

3 decades of racing, and still there is something so special about setting my gear out the night before a race.

on pre-Race Day nights, i allow myself to feel like some Warrior Prince about to take arms against a sea of demons as i mindfully prepare my gear.

Those of you brave enough to race? you know damn well where that demonic sea resides; within our minds.

You may note the cycling gear in the above photo. like last year, i chose to ride a mountain bike up to the high altitude Start Line. Pedaling up Schultz Creek Trail upon frozen earth, my breath visible as vapor, i could see to my left dozens of cars being driven up to the start. One lone WF Warrior, however was riding among deer, pines and rocks. This seemed to me to be deeply appropriate. i had the sense that i had already won an important aspect of the race; gathering merit for One Less Car in the mountains.

I will say, i have never spent a Race Week Preparation in a Pediatric Intensive Care Unit watching my beautiful tiny daughter hooked up to monitors and IV’s. Yet, i still chose to contest the Soulstice Mountain Run and when i ask myself why, i struggle in expression yet feel conviction in my cells.

Race Morning, with the Sacred Peak overlooking the organization of the race. Temperature was just above freezing. So beautiful. A campfire warmed my fingers from my mountain bike commute to the Start Line. photo by Neil Weintraub.

When we race against highly trained and often more skilled challengers, our fears and doubts are confronted, possibly embraced, and at least honored. Those challengers can be anything or anyone, ranging from your newborn infant going blue in your arms to lining up next to hundreds of other warriors; each determined to beat you. How we respond to such challenges means everything about how our Souls become cultivated.

Life is full of challenges, however, it is our dying that is REALLY filled with challenge! If we spend this life running away from and making excuses not to COMPETE in the Human Race Toward Enlightenment, we just stay stuck for lifetimes in our laziness and lower chakral desires. Our desires create our life experiences and resultant incarnations, according to yoga.

When i pedaled up the Start Line, it was go(o)d to see many of my friends. Mountain runners in particular, are humble and friendly folk. I really can’t say that about athletes in many other sports. There is something about mountain running that keeps humility, modesty, and gratefulness intact with spirit.

Last year, in fantastic nordic weather; wet, windy, and cold – i ran to a 3rd place in my age group.

This year, your coach made a Rookie Dad mistake and, it may have cost me a podium spot. I finished fourth – just off the podium – in my age. Things to keep; a month ago, i began my running for the upcoming fall/winter ski & snowshoe racing season. One month ago, i stumbled through this Course in 1:08. Two weeks, on my final Course Prep, i ran this Course in 1:00 through spirit-severing back/hip pain. Yesterday, i put out a 54:59 effort.

That’s WF, baby. Huge performance strides in a ‘new’ sport transition. Love it.

Having said that, i need to share with you where i messed up big time and possible lost a much higher placing:

Since i was in the hospital the week before the race, i was unable to run. Forced to sneak in a run the afternoon before the race, i knew i had to keep a lid on it. i needed to keep my effort to a Heart Rate within Zone 2 and just kinda lube up the legs and lungs for the next morning’s race.

Lacing up my running shoes, and trotting out my door, something hit hard;
the CHI!

Call it natural processing of seeing my baby daughter and my Beloved Ananda in the Intensive Care Unit, struggling for mere survival.

Call it an overload of anxiety gathered from intimate traversing of new Fears.

Call it whatever you want, but i ran soooo fast, sooo easily, with such uncommon spring in my legs and no pain in my hip/back that no only did idiotic ilg run past my pre-workout planned distance of 2.5 miles, i took that right hand turn past “Sunflower Meadow” and launched into my 5-mile loop like i was a galloping friggin’ goose or something!

36 minutes later, bursting through the Temple H(om)e door, i panted to Ananda,
“Man, i really think i am ready for tomorrow! i just chopped three MINUTES off my Linwood Loop and it felt EASY! i am flying!”

She just looked at me, so sweetly seeing what an absolute nincompoop stood before her, sweating. Her Saintly aura threw a calm blanket over my insanity and i began to realize just how bad i messed up my Race Day, the day before the race.

If there is one thing that a multisport athlete NEVER does is run two hard days in a row. it won’t work. doing a hard run fries the neural delivery to the hip flexors in runners. at least 48 hours is needed for optimal cellular recovery and strength. that is why you can race a bike hard every day for month in the Tour de France, however, have you noticed there is no Tour de France for runners?

My legs felt like blocks of ice pedaling up to the Start…don’t worry, i told myself, as soon as i start running, they’ll come around.

oh, they came around awlright…my legs came around like a couple of oil tanker anchors. On the initial climb up Sunset Trail – a steep 2 miles where i needed to hammer – i felt like i was on stilts. Not even the Sacred Mantra could restore the spring to my legs…i just did my best to plaster my heart rate and move my legs forward. this was not the elegant display of finesse mountain running i wished to express on Race Day.

i ran hard. i breathed soft. each footstride seemed a battle for dance instead of dancing a battle. soldiering upward and onward, i released into the situation i created for myself and learned among the gorgeous autumn colors, a stronger mindset based upon acceptance. Each footstep became a teaching for me and i sensed a tremendous worth settling upon my soul.

i crossed the Finish Line, clapping for ilg along with the spectators. i had raced a Noble Race at the end of an intense week of Advanced Spiritual Testing.

There is a qualitative difference in the way i race now from ten years ago in that i no longer experience a fear of losing as a loss of something. when i get myself into situations where losing becomes a staple reality, i don’t have the earlier kinds of anxiety or egoic hurtfulness. it just is what it is because each race, like each day, can be whatever it is…
and…
it is always all right.

No longer obligated to collect something
to avoid something later, there is an expanding Sense of Self
that feels, very,
very
beautiful
to the inner ilg.

Thank you God, for allowing the opportunity to see Racing as Worship
and to be Blessed by a Sangha,
and a Partner
that
understands
that fear is the result of impurity
and all we have to do
is (e)race the Impurity
by our bravery to Toe The Start Line
no
matter
what.

special thanks to Neil and all the volunteers at Flag’s most beautiful running race!

Registration opens for the 2009 running of Soulstice on April 1st. It will probably cap out by May 1st. I’ll let you know when registration is open because i would LOVE to see YOU out here next year, beneath the flaming colors of a Flagstaff autumn forest!

Until we meet again like this,
may you “Embrace your ten thousand horrible demons and your ten thousand beautiful demons.”

Om So Ti,
the mountain yogi