Wholistic Fitness

what exactly does an ilg ponder when an ilg ponders….trust me,  you’ll want to know…in fact, many of you are actually living my ponderments…shouldn’t that scare you?  it does me.   photo at Taos Ski Valley, by Ananda.

Dear Mr. Ilg,

First I must say I have long respected your astonishing intellect about wholistic training and noble sport performance done for spiritual reasons.  Your books have inspired me and my family, I want to make sure you know that.  Thank you.

Now…please also understand that I understand that among several other deeply perturbing ‘training assignments’,   you actually coach your students to pee in the sink presumably  “to save water.”   This struck me as so utterly divorced from what a “Personal Trainer” and ” Yogi” should be…please, tell me that such crude behavior is just rumor!

A Precariously Perched Fan,

Dan M.

CO

Coach Responds:

Dear DM,

okay, first…thank you for your Metta.

second,  HELL YEAH! ilg still – and with not insignificant regal attitude – pee in the sink to save our Precious Water Element!   in fact, tell you what,  ilg will come over and pee in YOUR sink to save even one microdroplet of Water!  i do wish to apologize for the mostly guys whose chicks have left them after catching them practicing this particular Teaching of the WF Path.  sorry, brah.  how ’bout some nachos?

oh, and here’s something else for your revulsion of ilg upon which to ensure your ego will one day finally capitulate;  i pee in my SHOWER drain too!

third: heck, ilg has even tried to pry off that little chrome doo hickey over the shower drain to see if ilg could possibly Doo Doo into the drain to save even MORE water!

to add to your Elizabethean consternation, here is another one of ilg’s endless ponderments (it’s an old word that i just made up..as a firmly established book author,  ilg is allowed such linguistic graces):  WHY THE HELL hasn’t ANYONE yet invented a retro-drain-fit-and-flush for all shower drains which turn them into a Yogi Squat Poopy Place?!   i mean, c’MON!!!!!  how GREAT would it be to get all nice and hotly wet and lathered with all that Clean Soap Scent permeating the humid lusciousness which is showering and just squat down  and POOP!!?!?   why, with the elimination organs aligned naturally and appropriately in the yogic squat and with the force compression physics absolutely PERFECT… express without biomechanical and organic impingements the result of that peculiarly satisfying and always inevitably arising “Special Feeling” of which gurus such as Elmo™ speak and sing of with such Bhakti Yogi-like fervor?!   Oh,  how glorious it would be to just squat down and POOP and have it all be able to schuss (i’m actually NOT making that word up…look it up!) down the drain like so many frothy snowboard punks down a hardened Half Pipe at high noon?!   Oh…to poop in the shower!   What a water-saving and personal fitness enhancing world it would be!

head bowed, hips open in the Poop Squat,

your Crazy Wisdom Teacher